Having a prepared birth.....not a birth plan.

SPOILER ALERT
Not trying to scare anyone that hasn't given birth before.

Having a prepared birth, not a birth plan!
That is what my midwife with my first pregnancy told me.
Then you can be more prepared to do whatever your body tells you to do.
I always thought this was the best advice.
Especially since Elodie decided to take her time coming into this world.
I wanted to attempt a water birth with her.
But she was induced 13 days after her due date.
When you are induced you cannot have a water birth because you are hooked up to an IV with a pitocin drip.
We went with the flow during Elodie's birth and everything went fine without any complications.

The birth of my second baby Miss Iris Joyce was a different story.
My only hope this pregnancy was to avoid a c-section.
Thursday July 14th my aunt Geri from Birmingham came to take Elodie for the weekend so I could get some rest.
I reluctantly agreed to spend the weekend away from her.
I haven't been away from her since she was less than a year old.
I haven't shed very many tears this pregnancy but many fell after I said goodbye that day.
Not sure when I became that sappy mom?

Friday July 15th Miss Iris was already 3 days late.
Following in her sisters footsteps.
Graham and I had a free night to do whatever we wanted.
Around 4:30 I decided to give myself a pedicure.
We talked about going to dinner or maybe a movie?
As I started to think of places I would want to go to dinner I started having light contractions.
When I told Graham he suggested we go on a hike in the woods.
I laughed it off saying that my nails wouldn't be dry.
We started timing the contractions.
They were about 5-7 minutes apart.
After I finished my pedicure my contractions quickly increased.
I went from slightly laughing every contraction to bending over in pain with each one.
By 5:30 they were coming every 3 minutes at one minute apart.
We called the doctor and the nurse on call informed us to head to the hospital immediately.
I couldn't remember the "rules" on how long to labor at home.
Apparently not super long with the second pregnancy.

Sitting in a car having extreme contractions is definitely not an ideal situation.
It is much easier walking around and grabbing onto something.
I'm sure the people in the cars next to us wondered what was wrong with me.
There was no hiding the pain of these intense contractions.

We got to the hospital around seven.
As we walked from the parking garage to the hospital I keeled over in pain during a contraction.
It was shift change and five OB nurses stopped to assist me.
They sent Graham to get me a wheel chair.
One of them rubbed my back, one gave me breathing lessons, and they all offered kind words.
I just love OB nurses.
After a few more contractions a nurse named Bernadette came up the ramp with a wheel chair.
She informed me that Graham was checking me in at the front desk.
She wheeled me right into a room, got me into a hospital gown and into a bed.
She was a lifesaver.

Our nurse Roberta did a check and I was already dilated to a 5!
I was pleased that things were moving along much quicker than my first delivery.
The doctor on call came in and introduced herself.
There were a group of nurses and staff all eager and ready to greet our baby girl into this world.

Things were already pretty intense so I opted to have an epidural.
About an hour later my nurse broke my water to get things moving again.
Shortly after that they gave me a pitocin drip to keep things progressing.
Around midnight I was dilated to a 10 and ready to get this baby out.
The doctor came in and we were ready to push.
I guess we should have done a practice round because this method of pushing was different from my first pregnancy.
I didn't understand what they wanted me to do?
Obviously push.
But they had me holding my own legs and kept telling me to "bear" down.
I was frustrated with this new pushing style.
After my first push through a contraction there was a silence in the room.
Miss Iris' heartbeat had dropped dramatically and wasn't recovering.
The doctor immediately informed me that we would need to have a c-section and that our baby was in distress.
I didn't initially comprehend that her heartbeat had dropped so quickly and not recovered.
I felt uninformed making such a quick decision.
Since I had just met this doctor we didn't have a level of trust established yet.
I didn't want to feel pressured into a c-section but I didn't want anything serious to happen to Iris or I.
I started to panic a bit.
I looked to Graham and our nurse Roberta for reassurance.
I clenched Graham's hand in fear.
I could tell Graham was very worried about the baby and I.
A team headed in to prep me for a c-section.
The doctor said that Iris was face up and too far up the birth canal to attempt to turn her around.
She also told us that there was a chance she was "hung up" (umbilical cord around her neck).
All of this information put me into a state of shock.
Did I have to decide right this second if I need to have surgery to give birth to this little girl?
I didn't understand what level of urgency we were looking at?
The doctor decided to let me push on my side because her heart rate stayed steady in that position.
I switched from side to side to push.
The doctor came and went as the minutes and hours passed.
We had nurses come and go to assist and keep me motivated.

Eventually my pain medication began to wear off.
I kept trying to push but now the pain was so intense I could barely focus through my tears.
At this point I had been pushing for over 4 hours.
Graham was the most loving and emotionally supportive partner through it all.

I finally asked our nurse Roberta point blank how often a baby actually turns and comes down after this long?

She told me she had seen it happen but it usually happens within the first hour of pushing.
Graham and I discussed it and decided to push for another half hour and then opt for a c-section.
I couldn't handle the pain anymore.
I was scared and exhausted.
I pushed with all I had and she still didn't come down.

Once I decided to have a c-section I was begging for more pain medication.
They couldn't give me anything until I had a time booked for the operating room.
This was devastating.
It was like I was having one long contraction and the pressure was so intense.
I started to shake.
Did I wait too long to make a decision?
What if something happens to Iris?
I can't believe they are going to cut me open to get my precious baby out of me.
I know this is something they do all the time but it is still terrifying.
My doctor had done two other c-sections while I was pushing for the last five hours.

Once they pumped me full of numbing pain medication things calmed down for a minute.
The medication makes you shake.
I was trembling.
I was crying.
I was completely overwhelmed and exhausted at this point.

They wheeled me into the operating room and prepped me for surgery.
Graham had to wait outside until they were completely ready to begin.
All I wanted was to see his face again.
Everyone in the operating room was very friendly but I could barely see them through the tears and couldn't even mumble a response to their questions.
It was definitely a Grey's Anatomy experience.
The doctors and nurse staff were having small talk about their kids and lives.
All very nonchalant.
Meanwhile I was still trembling.
Is my baby ok?
They kept saying she is almost out.
I could feel them tugging at my body.
Soon she was out.
They lifted her up so we could see her.
I was shocked by her full head of dark brown hair.
The c-section was all over quickly but seemed like an eternity.
When they asked if I wanted to hold her I said no.
I was so terrified I would drop her because I was shaking so uncontrollably.
They placed her in my arms anyway.
I held her quickly and handed her to Graham.
She looks so much like here sister except for all of that dark hair.
Sweet Iris Joyce McFall was finally here.
She was born 7/16/16 at 5:54am.

The next moments, days and weeks seem like a blur.
I was in excruciating pain.
Getting cut open in the middle of your body affects your every move.
It was a struggle getting in and out of the hospital bed.
Every laugh, sneeze, and quick reaction hurt.

Hours after Iris was born the nurse took her to the nursery for some tests.
She came back without our baby and informed us Iris had choked on her spit up and turned blue a couple of times.
They wanted to keep her in the nursery for a while to monitor her breathing.
Another heart stopping moment.
Graham practically ran to the nursery when the nurse informed us.
Our nurse insisted Iris stay in the nursery at night to keep an eye on her breathing.
They brought her back into our room to eat every few hours.

I realized I was starting to come out of my haze on Sunday when I noticed the large painting on the wall behind my bed was a bunch of Iris flowers.
It felt like a sign that everything would be all right.
We were exactly where we were supposed to be.

We had loving friends and family come to the hospital to meet baby Iris and bring food and gifts on Sunday and Monday.

Elodie met her baby sister for the first time on Monday.

She was very eager to see us and her sister.
She couldn't wait to hold her baby.
We were discharged from the hospital on Tuesday.

We were so fortunate to have so much help the first few weeks I was home from the hospital.
Graham took the first week off and worked from home the second week.
My aunt Geri from Birmingham stayed with us the first week, my mom flew down from Minnesota the second week, and my mother in-law flew down from Minnesota the third week.
My friend Melissa set up a meal train for us and we have had meals delivered from friends and family since we got home from the hospital.

Iris has been the perfect baby.
She eats wonderfully, sleeps long stretches, and only cries when she needs something.
She has one of her daddy's dimples.
She loves her big sister.
Elodie is completely obsessed with her.
She informs me often that "Piris" (as she calls her) is her baby and that my baby is in her tummy.
And that my baby is a boy!
I love that Elodie still thinks she is carrying a baby in her tummy.

This has definitely been the most challenging and emotional experience in my life so far.
I am getting my strength and stability back every day as I learn how to be a mother of two.
God has given Graham and I another healthy, strong, beautiful baby girl to cherish and we couldn't be happier.

ELODIE+IRIS

Party planning while pregnant...

40 weeks pregnant today!
I'm trying not to focus on the fact that this baby is going to be stubborn just like her sister.
For those of you who don't know or remember Miss Elodie was born at 42 weeks.
Let's hope her sister doesn't need to be evicted as well.
So for now I am going to focus on the positive things during this pregnancy!

Considering I was sick for the first 22 weeks of this pregnancy I didn't get much done the first half.
The second half I hit it hard with activities.
I co-hosted a Valentine's Bubbly Brunch, planned a Derby party, and Elodie's 3rd birthday party.

The bubbly brunch is something I started doing as a Christmas gift for my girlfriends in Minneapolis instead of actual gifts.
I love bubbly!
I would host a brunch with champagne.
Everyone would bring a bottle of wine or bubbles to exchange.
I always make a bubbly brunch mix cd of my favorite songs from the year previous.
Last year I didn't have any girlfriends that I could host a brunch for.
This year I was excited to have a small group of girlfriends to attend.
It got pushed back to a February Valentine's brunch.
One of my dear friends hosted the brunch at her house.
My nausea has just started to subside.
It was fun to revive my Minneapolis tradition with my lovely Georgia friends.
If any of my Minneapolis friends want a bubbly brunch mix you will have to come and visit ;)
P.s it's good!

The Derby party was next on the list.
I have always wanted to take part in this fun Southern tradition.
I felt like Derby day always snuck up on us up North.

I planned a traditional Derby menu.
Found the perfect mint julep recipe.
I also whipped up a refreshing sangria.
Planned adult and kid activities for the day.
Printed betting cards for guests.
Found the perfect hat (I went with a fascinator).
I made a delicious bourbon pork and kentucky hot brown sliders (which were delicious).
It was fun to plan the decorations, menu, and activities for the day.
We spray painted horses from the dollar store gold.
Spray painted mason jars gold for vases.
We used fake red flowers from the dollar store, picked roses from our garden, and got all the plates, silverware, and napkins from the dollar store.
I bought three noodles from the dollar store and found felt horse hats for a $1 each at Michaels that I could attach to the top of the noodles for the human horse races.
Graham spray painted a horse track in the back yard and the human horse races were a huge hit.
We played a hilarious game with oranges in panty hose called "wrecking balls".
We also set up a corn hole competition.
I can't wait to keep this tradition going year after year.

Next I began planning Elodie's 3rd Fairy birthday party!
Last year we did just a family birthday party for her at the zoo.
This year she was so excited about her birthday, cupcakes, and her friends.
She was very excited about her fairy theme.
She ran around all day with her flower crown and fairy wings on.

I was super excited to get some crafting done for the big day.
I ordered her an adorable $15 dress on ebay.

I did a bunch of Pinterest ideas for the big day.
I made tissue paper flowers, DIY flower crowns, DIY peter pan hats, and bought wings and wands at the dollar store.
Graham and I made a kids table out of four pallets and place mats for seats on the ground from the dollar store.
I used table clothes that I already had for the table.
I used roses from our garden and bought some fake flowers on sale at Michaels (Now they are in Elodie's room and the nursery).
We ordered her an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. (That was a pregnancy craving).
We set up two princess tents and a sun tent for the kids to play in.
We had a bubble blower going.
Graham and I made a photo booth with her chalk board, a chair, and some cardboard we still had from moving.
Graham cut out a fairy door that we hung on the tree for the kids to stick their heads through.

I kept things fairly simple with the food.
Cold turkey sandwiches (on hawaiian rolls) for the kids, crockpot buffalo chicken, crockpot bbq chicken, chips, pretzels, cheese and crackers, pickles and olives (Elodie's favorite), pixie sticks, cupcakes, and ice cream cake.
My friend Melissa also brought an asian salad.
I guess that sounds like a lot when you write it down. Haha!
It was almost all gone at the end of the two hour party.
We also served sangria, beer, and lemonade.

It was a hot day to have 40 guests hanging out in the back yard.
We had melting fairies but it was a perfect day for the ice cream cake.
Elodie had so much fun with her friends and was ecstatic to open all of her gifts.

We feel so grateful to have made such wonderful friends down here to be able to celebrate with.
After these events I finally had time to start planning the nursery.
That information will be next!

Elodie's first swim lessons

We decided to put Elodie in swim lessons this year.
We have a pool in our community so we spend a lot of time there.
With baby girl #2 on the way we wanted to feel safe with Elodie in the water.
We asked around on local mommy groups and decided to take lessons with Autumn Lynn.
Her classes are 45 minutes, three times a week for two weeks.
She said Elodie would be swimming by the end of two weeks.
She has a salt water pool and a no-nonsense reputation.
My friend Melissa and I decided to sign our kids up.

The first day Elodie was so excited to get in the water.
The kids can get in the water 15 minutes before class and play.
There were about 15 kids, 15 parents, Autumn Lynn, and a few of her helpers in the water.

We started off easy practicing paddling arms.
Then the craziness ensued.
We had to push their head under the water and push them toward the edge.
I gave lots of encouragement trying to get her to paddle her arms.
There were lots of tears and and pleas to get out of the pool.
We persevered!
Second they had us push them under the water to the edge and have them turn around.
The third thing we worked on was dunking them in the water facing away from us and have them turn around under water towards us.
Fourth thing we worked on was kicking their legs with their heads on our shoulder.
Fifth thing we worked on was arms again.
Sixth thing we worked on was pushing them under the water towards the edge and having them get out of the pool.
Lastly, they head to the diving board.
They jump (or get dropped off) the diving board, go under the water and swim to the instructor.

Elodie cried almost the entire first day.
She didn't resist or try to get out of the pool.
She had her eyes open wide and looked so scared but kept trying.
It was definitely a challenge to keep the praise and encouragement going.
It was definitely hard to keep "forcing" her under the water.
She did calm down and stop crying towards the end.
She liked the diving board.
It was complete crazy town with all of the crying children in the water.
I gave her lots of hugs, kisses, and praises.
She was very excited to get to her towel afterwards.

The calm before the storm

First day complete

The second day I debated even telling Elodie where we were headed for the day.

When I told her she didn't seem scared or uninterested in going.

When we got there she was super excited again. 

She headed to the pool and said "Come on mom let's go practice".

She put her head right under the water by herself and swam to the stairs.

Then she would go under and swim back to me.

I was shocked. 

She wasn't using her arms very much yet but kicking her legs like a fish.

There were no tears during this class. 

She was so proud of herself the whole class.

I wasn't expecting to see her swimming under the water like that on day two.

Excited for Day 2 of lessons

The third day of lessons went even better.
She was once again super excited to get in the pool and practice.
She did so well on the third day Autumn Lynn moved her into the older class for the next week.

Week one complete! 

Week two of swimming lessons and Elodie was in the pool without me.

They focused a lot more on using their arms.

She did great!

4th Swim lesson

Diving board time

Diving on the edge of the pool

The last two days of lessons she started to use her arms more and more. 

She remained comfortable in the pool. 

I was so proud of how quick she picked it up.

She was the youngest one in her class.

I definitely think the key is getting them comfortable with their heads under water.

They learn super fast how to hold their breath.

Day 5 

On the last day of class they all get a freeze pop.

Now when we go to the pool, Elodie just wants to swim from me to the edge and back. 

She swims in the bathtub. 

She asks to go to the pool everyday.

Best investment ever!

Last day of swim lessons

One week without the nuk!

After Elodie's first trip to the dentist we decided it was time to say goodbye to her beloved nuk!
Some people call them a pacifier.
Not sure why we went with nuk?
We have been planning on doing this for a while.

I feel like a toddler's sleep stages are the hardest struggles of parenthood so far.
Everyone warns you to get sleep before a newborn.
I felt like Elodie slept all the time as a newborn.
It was a piece of cake compared to the toddler bedtime/naptime struggle.
We have been struggling with bedtime for about a year now.
Ever since she flipped out out of her crib and we put her in the big girl bed.
Tough times, let me tell you.
Just when we think we have it figured out she wakes up a ton at night or doesn't want to go to to bed.
So we have put off taking away her beloved sleeping aid "the nuk".
She also was allowed to have it in the car.

Car naps! Not always a good thing!

We talked about it for a few days before we took it away.
We told her how the nuk fairy was going to come and take them away and give them to her baby sister.
We convinced her that the baby was going to need them and she was a big girl now.
We went to the store and picked out some gifts from the nuk fairy.
She chose a baby (with a nuk in her mouth), baby bottles, baby stroller, and baby chair.
The nuk fairy is verrrrrry generous.

The evening arrived for the exchange.
We put her nuky's in a box with a nice note for the fairy.
Then we went down for dinner.
I found some twinkling fairy music on youtube that played when the "fairy" arrived.

She was so excited.
She ran upstairs looking all over for the fairy.
She found that her box was gone and the fairy left her the baby and stroller.
She seemed very happy and we thought we were successful.
Bedtime came around and she got very upset before bed.
She didn't ask for her nuk but she was mad, sad, and crying.
She got up quite a bit but was finally sleeping by 11.
She slept through the night.
Success???
The next morning she found the fairy left her the baby bottles and baby chair outside her door for sleeping through the night.

Every night since then has turned into a more difficult bedtime routine.
We tiptoe around making her upset.
She fights every aspect of the bedtime routine.
She doesn't want to take a bath.
She doesn't want to brush her teeth.
She doesn't want to read books.
She doesn't want to put on her pajamas.
She does want you to sing Twinkle twinkle 10-15 times and then You are my sunshine.
She gets really mad, sad, and inconsolable.
Screaming, jumping up and down, lots of no's.
Is this just her getting close to the dreaded age three?
Or did we take away the one thing that was calming her down in the evening?
When she gets this upset it takes us an hour to calm her back down.

I have even considered giving her nuk back.
But I won't give in!
Graham usually puts her to bed.
If she gets up after he puts her down she only wants me.
Usually to go to the bathroom, sing her a song, or give me a "boog" (yes to hand me a booger).
When she wakes up in the middle of the night she screams if Graham goes in there.
"I want my momma".
I love rolling my pregnant self out of bed all hours of the night.

How do we stop the crazy anger tantrum before it spins out of control at bedtime?
How do I get my sweet baby back?
Sometimes she snaps out of it for a couple minutes and says "I'm so happy mama".
"Are you happy"?
I feel like I'm living in crazy town.
What do you mean you are happy?
You won't go to bed.
You don't want me to touch you.
There is no reasoning.
You do that crazy cry thing with your mouth closed like you are crying on the inside.
Sometimes you just growl.

Lots of deep breathing happening on my end.
My sweet girl that during the day proclaims me as her best friend.
You grab my cheeks and tell me "I'm so pretty".
You say I'm your favorite.
We sing songs.
You hold my hand.
You give kisses, big hugs, say sweet things to the baby.
You tell me "Happy Valentine's Day" when you think I'm mad at you.

Sweet baby girl! That nuk would put her right to sleep!

Just another parenting obstacle course.
Should we just let you play until you want to go to bed?
Do kids actually do this?
Give you the Ipad until you fall asleep?
I think she would stay up all night and watch cat videos.
Read you Peekaboo Fairy over and over and over and over and over?
We try so hard to not let her get to the "dark side".
I'm assuming this a preview of what "3" is going to be like.
I think mad Elodie needs an alter ego name.
Any suggestions?
Alter ego names always make situations more comical.

I wish every morning she would crawl into bed and fall back asleep like this.

20 Weeks Pregnant!

I'm officially 20 weeks pregnant with baby girl #2.
Now I only feel nauseous about two times a day.
Which is a huge improvement for me.
It's much better than being nauseous 24/7.
I'm a terrible pregnant person.
I literally feel like I have the flu all the time.
I couldn't even walk on the treadmill until recently without feeling like I was going to pass out.
I was in bed before miss Elodie every night up until a few weeks ago.
Thank goodness for my amazing husband.
He took care of Elodie as soon as he got home every night.
He made dinner.
I went to bed.
I was just miserable.
I tried to focus on the fact that this baby is a blessing and a miracle.

I was sick for 19 weeks with Elodie.
I could at least work out for an hour a day.
When I first got pregnant I thought about what she would look like?
What she would sound like?
How to decorate the nursery?
How to get her to sleep?
How to get her to eat?
How to be a good mom?

After having a late term miscarriage last year I definitely viewed this pregnancy differently.
It's hard to ignore that sinking feeling that something could be wrong.
If I started to feel better I thought something was wrong.
If I didn't hear back about a blood test I thought something was wrong.
The days slowly crept by.
I didn't want to think negatively or be too happy.
I was cautiously excited.
It's been so hard to be away from my family and closest friends.
This is a "high risk" pregnancy.
I went in every two weeks for the first 12 weeks.
Because of my age and previous miscarriage it is considered "high risk".
I had to do all of the testing and hold my breath for every ultrasound.

At 16 weeks they had a hard time hearing her heartbeat on the doppler.
They said my heartbeat was so loud they couldn't hear her heartbeat.
My heart sank.
This is what happened before.
They told me not to worry.
They took me in for an ultrasound.
There was a heartbeat.
She was fine.
I could breathe again.

Elodie was such a blessing during this time.
She would tell me how much she loved me and shower me with hugs and kisses.
No matter how sick I felt she always made me smile.
I didn't think about the nursery, what she would look like, or if she would sleep at night.
I only wanted a healthy baby growing inside of me.
I took this picture the day I found out I was pregnant and told Elodie.
She was soooooo happy!


I had a car accident a few weeks ago.
I was 17 weeks pregnant at the time with Elodie in the car with me.
I was rear ended.
At first I thought everything was completely fine.
Then I realized that my miscarriage occurred at 16 weeks last year.
Panic started to creep in.
What if something was wrong and I didn't even know it?
I had the fire department check me out.
They said everything seemed fine and I went to my OBGYN later for a follow up.

I think I've finally passed that phase of doubt and worry.
I understand that something could still happen.
I have decided to focus on the fact that she is healthy.
She is growing like crazy.
Seeing her today on the ultrasound finally felt "real".
We are having another baby girl.
Elodie kept squealing "that's my baby" at the ultrasound monitor.
Graham was amazed by how clear we could see her.
He is excited to have another girl.
Baby girls love their daddy's.
Her tiny hands were touching her face.
Her legs were kicking like crazy.
My belly is definitely getting bigger everyday.
This is happening.

We have decided to name her Iris Joyce McFall.

Iris is the name of a beautiful flower and the color of our eyes.
It symbolizes faith, hope, and wisdom.
In Greek mythology Iris was the personification of the rainbow.
Iris was a goddess that connected heaven and earth via the rainbow.


Her middle name Joyce comes from our dear Meemaw.
We tragically lost her right before Christmas this past year.
We shared our pregnancy news with her this past Thanksgiving.
She was overjoyed for us.
She was a woman of faith, a beautiful soul and shining light in our lives.
It feels like the perfect namesake.

I am half way through this pregnancy.
She will be here before we know it.
Elodie couldn't be more excited to be a big sister.
She kisses my belly.
She tickles my belly.
She talks to her sister.
Most of the time she thinks her baby sister is in her belly.
My baby girls!

Elodie + Iris

I. Can't. Wait.