Having a prepared birth.....not a birth plan.

SPOILER ALERT
Not trying to scare anyone that hasn't given birth before.

Having a prepared birth, not a birth plan!
That is what my midwife with my first pregnancy told me.
Then you can be more prepared to do whatever your body tells you to do.
I always thought this was the best advice.
Especially since Elodie decided to take her time coming into this world.
I wanted to attempt a water birth with her.
But she was induced 13 days after her due date.
When you are induced you cannot have a water birth because you are hooked up to an IV with a pitocin drip.
We went with the flow during Elodie's birth and everything went fine without any complications.

The birth of my second baby Miss Iris Joyce was a different story.
My only hope this pregnancy was to avoid a c-section.
Thursday July 14th my aunt Geri from Birmingham came to take Elodie for the weekend so I could get some rest.
I reluctantly agreed to spend the weekend away from her.
I haven't been away from her since she was less than a year old.
I haven't shed very many tears this pregnancy but many fell after I said goodbye that day.
Not sure when I became that sappy mom?

Friday July 15th Miss Iris was already 3 days late.
Following in her sisters footsteps.
Graham and I had a free night to do whatever we wanted.
Around 4:30 I decided to give myself a pedicure.
We talked about going to dinner or maybe a movie?
As I started to think of places I would want to go to dinner I started having light contractions.
When I told Graham he suggested we go on a hike in the woods.
I laughed it off saying that my nails wouldn't be dry.
We started timing the contractions.
They were about 5-7 minutes apart.
After I finished my pedicure my contractions quickly increased.
I went from slightly laughing every contraction to bending over in pain with each one.
By 5:30 they were coming every 3 minutes at one minute apart.
We called the doctor and the nurse on call informed us to head to the hospital immediately.
I couldn't remember the "rules" on how long to labor at home.
Apparently not super long with the second pregnancy.

Sitting in a car having extreme contractions is definitely not an ideal situation.
It is much easier walking around and grabbing onto something.
I'm sure the people in the cars next to us wondered what was wrong with me.
There was no hiding the pain of these intense contractions.

We got to the hospital around seven.
As we walked from the parking garage to the hospital I keeled over in pain during a contraction.
It was shift change and five OB nurses stopped to assist me.
They sent Graham to get me a wheel chair.
One of them rubbed my back, one gave me breathing lessons, and they all offered kind words.
I just love OB nurses.
After a few more contractions a nurse named Bernadette came up the ramp with a wheel chair.
She informed me that Graham was checking me in at the front desk.
She wheeled me right into a room, got me into a hospital gown and into a bed.
She was a lifesaver.

Our nurse Roberta did a check and I was already dilated to a 5!
I was pleased that things were moving along much quicker than my first delivery.
The doctor on call came in and introduced herself.
There were a group of nurses and staff all eager and ready to greet our baby girl into this world.

Things were already pretty intense so I opted to have an epidural.
About an hour later my nurse broke my water to get things moving again.
Shortly after that they gave me a pitocin drip to keep things progressing.
Around midnight I was dilated to a 10 and ready to get this baby out.
The doctor came in and we were ready to push.
I guess we should have done a practice round because this method of pushing was different from my first pregnancy.
I didn't understand what they wanted me to do?
Obviously push.
But they had me holding my own legs and kept telling me to "bear" down.
I was frustrated with this new pushing style.
After my first push through a contraction there was a silence in the room.
Miss Iris' heartbeat had dropped dramatically and wasn't recovering.
The doctor immediately informed me that we would need to have a c-section and that our baby was in distress.
I didn't initially comprehend that her heartbeat had dropped so quickly and not recovered.
I felt uninformed making such a quick decision.
Since I had just met this doctor we didn't have a level of trust established yet.
I didn't want to feel pressured into a c-section but I didn't want anything serious to happen to Iris or I.
I started to panic a bit.
I looked to Graham and our nurse Roberta for reassurance.
I clenched Graham's hand in fear.
I could tell Graham was very worried about the baby and I.
A team headed in to prep me for a c-section.
The doctor said that Iris was face up and too far up the birth canal to attempt to turn her around.
She also told us that there was a chance she was "hung up" (umbilical cord around her neck).
All of this information put me into a state of shock.
Did I have to decide right this second if I need to have surgery to give birth to this little girl?
I didn't understand what level of urgency we were looking at?
The doctor decided to let me push on my side because her heart rate stayed steady in that position.
I switched from side to side to push.
The doctor came and went as the minutes and hours passed.
We had nurses come and go to assist and keep me motivated.

Eventually my pain medication began to wear off.
I kept trying to push but now the pain was so intense I could barely focus through my tears.
At this point I had been pushing for over 4 hours.
Graham was the most loving and emotionally supportive partner through it all.

I finally asked our nurse Roberta point blank how often a baby actually turns and comes down after this long?

She told me she had seen it happen but it usually happens within the first hour of pushing.
Graham and I discussed it and decided to push for another half hour and then opt for a c-section.
I couldn't handle the pain anymore.
I was scared and exhausted.
I pushed with all I had and she still didn't come down.

Once I decided to have a c-section I was begging for more pain medication.
They couldn't give me anything until I had a time booked for the operating room.
This was devastating.
It was like I was having one long contraction and the pressure was so intense.
I started to shake.
Did I wait too long to make a decision?
What if something happens to Iris?
I can't believe they are going to cut me open to get my precious baby out of me.
I know this is something they do all the time but it is still terrifying.
My doctor had done two other c-sections while I was pushing for the last five hours.

Once they pumped me full of numbing pain medication things calmed down for a minute.
The medication makes you shake.
I was trembling.
I was crying.
I was completely overwhelmed and exhausted at this point.

They wheeled me into the operating room and prepped me for surgery.
Graham had to wait outside until they were completely ready to begin.
All I wanted was to see his face again.
Everyone in the operating room was very friendly but I could barely see them through the tears and couldn't even mumble a response to their questions.
It was definitely a Grey's Anatomy experience.
The doctors and nurse staff were having small talk about their kids and lives.
All very nonchalant.
Meanwhile I was still trembling.
Is my baby ok?
They kept saying she is almost out.
I could feel them tugging at my body.
Soon she was out.
They lifted her up so we could see her.
I was shocked by her full head of dark brown hair.
The c-section was all over quickly but seemed like an eternity.
When they asked if I wanted to hold her I said no.
I was so terrified I would drop her because I was shaking so uncontrollably.
They placed her in my arms anyway.
I held her quickly and handed her to Graham.
She looks so much like here sister except for all of that dark hair.
Sweet Iris Joyce McFall was finally here.
She was born 7/16/16 at 5:54am.

The next moments, days and weeks seem like a blur.
I was in excruciating pain.
Getting cut open in the middle of your body affects your every move.
It was a struggle getting in and out of the hospital bed.
Every laugh, sneeze, and quick reaction hurt.

Hours after Iris was born the nurse took her to the nursery for some tests.
She came back without our baby and informed us Iris had choked on her spit up and turned blue a couple of times.
They wanted to keep her in the nursery for a while to monitor her breathing.
Another heart stopping moment.
Graham practically ran to the nursery when the nurse informed us.
Our nurse insisted Iris stay in the nursery at night to keep an eye on her breathing.
They brought her back into our room to eat every few hours.

I realized I was starting to come out of my haze on Sunday when I noticed the large painting on the wall behind my bed was a bunch of Iris flowers.
It felt like a sign that everything would be all right.
We were exactly where we were supposed to be.

We had loving friends and family come to the hospital to meet baby Iris and bring food and gifts on Sunday and Monday.

Elodie met her baby sister for the first time on Monday.

She was very eager to see us and her sister.
She couldn't wait to hold her baby.
We were discharged from the hospital on Tuesday.

We were so fortunate to have so much help the first few weeks I was home from the hospital.
Graham took the first week off and worked from home the second week.
My aunt Geri from Birmingham stayed with us the first week, my mom flew down from Minnesota the second week, and my mother in-law flew down from Minnesota the third week.
My friend Melissa set up a meal train for us and we have had meals delivered from friends and family since we got home from the hospital.

Iris has been the perfect baby.
She eats wonderfully, sleeps long stretches, and only cries when she needs something.
She has one of her daddy's dimples.
She loves her big sister.
Elodie is completely obsessed with her.
She informs me often that "Piris" (as she calls her) is her baby and that my baby is in her tummy.
And that my baby is a boy!
I love that Elodie still thinks she is carrying a baby in her tummy.

This has definitely been the most challenging and emotional experience in my life so far.
I am getting my strength and stability back every day as I learn how to be a mother of two.
God has given Graham and I another healthy, strong, beautiful baby girl to cherish and we couldn't be happier.

ELODIE+IRIS